COACH/LEAD™ with Sehaam Cyrene

E016 Kate Rolfe on our responsibility to bring people with us in conversations

My guest is Kate Rolfe. Kate is founder of The Revels Office which is a cultural events consultancy and she helps arts organisations generate new revenue and through that expose organisations to different cultural experiences and reach new audiences.

She’s done some wonderful creative projects like transforming the National Gallery into a cinema as part of a sponsorship with beer brand Leffe, setting up the 'most popular event of all time’ with Time Out at the Natural History Museum and running a star-studded event at Buckingham Palace on behalf of the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art. 

“I think a lot of businesses are trying to move to a place where you don’t have to force people to be immediate and to make strong firm definite decisions straight away but actually there’s a level of creativity and time to think — I think a lot of that might have come from the creative industries… it’s bound to be a more peaceful way of working, it’s just more collaborative and calm but still effective. It’s not about wasting time — it’s about using time in the right way and using conversations in the right way.”

This was a really delightful conversation about the mechanics of conversations where Kate shares her techniques for keeping a conversation moving forward and creating deeper connections. It’s very human, natural and speaks to her desire for meaningful connections.

Catch the latest episodes of COACH/LEAD™ with Sehaam Cyrene on Apple | Audible | Podbean | Spotify | YouTube …and other fine places.

YouTube ▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@sehaamcyrene
LinkedIn ▶️ https://www.linkedin.com/in/sehaam/
Courses ▶️ https://coachlead.co/

Amazon # 1 Best Seller — The Better Conversations Rulebook: Questions & Phrases Practised Daily by Leaders Who Coach™  ▶️ https://amzn.eu/d/bm0J1BQ

E015 Stephen Brittain on visualising and mapping the value exchange in conversations

My guest is Steve Brittain. Steve is co-founder of Insurtech Gateway, the only FCA authorised independent incubator and fund, it’s where founders can go and get underwriting paper, investment capital, and advice on how to design and build their startup for the insurance industry...

...which has so many barriers to entry, and he says founders often run out of energy and money just trying to get in. One founder refers to them as “insurance sherpers, guiding us through the wilderness of insurance.”

Along with his co-founders, Steve takes founders on a journey towards investors and he enlists the support and patience of “true collaborators” who he defines as geeks who have a shared fascination in each other, who recognise each other as peers and who all like to get their geek on.

“They’re all incredibly curious, they all bring a super skill to the conversation and then there’s a mutual respect between Mr. Insurance Geek, or Mr. Data Analytics Geek or Mr. Forecasting Geek or Mr. IoT Sensor Geek or whatever skill is required. That there’s a recognition of peers, that’s been quite fundamental, they’re enjoying playing with others who are also excellent at what they do.”

Steve sees himself as a peacekeeper in conversations, working to get both sides - founders and investors - to align on ideas. He’s very visual in conversations using mind maps crossed with Venn diagrams and props like mugs, phones and drinks coasters to help himself and others get clarity about the value exchange.

Catch the latest episodes of COACH/LEAD™ with Sehaam Cyrene on Apple | Audible | Podbean | Spotify | YouTube …and other fine places.

YouTube ▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@sehaamcyrene
LinkedIn ▶️ https://www.linkedin.com/in/sehaam/
Courses ▶️ https://coachlead.co/

Amazon # 1 Best Seller — The Better Conversations Rulebook: Questions & Phrases Practised Daily by Leaders Who Coach™  ▶️ https://amzn.eu/d/bm0J1BQ

E014 Julie Mashack on philosophical conversations with strangers

My guest is Julie Mashack. Julie is the Director of Global Programs and Networks at 92nd Street Y - (as in the 24th letter of the alphabet) - it’s a 145 year old cultural and community center located on the Upper East Side of Manhattan in New York City. The Y is short for Young Men's and Young Women's Hebrew Association.

“I admire [when you have] a confidence in your own opinion that you can listen to someone else and maybe your opinion won’t change but you’re confident enough to say, “Okay, I’m open” and that I don’t automatically feel so threatened by another opinion that I don’t need to shoot it down, that I can listen to it. I admire when I see that happen — I think it’s incredible.”

Julie started out as a radio producer on NPR and Air America Radio and had a good stint in television news production before she joined 92nd Street Y over six years ago.

She oversees the major outreach and civic engagement initiatives for 92Y Belfer Center for Innovation and Social Impact. I met her at an online event hosted by the Royal Society of Arts here in the UK when I heard her talk about a fascinating initiative that she launched and has grown to a network of 300+ civil conversation clubs in 33 states, probably more by the time you’re listening to this because, when I met her, she was looking for leaders in countries around the world to set-up international clubs — you can appreciate how this might have drawn me in - and you for that matter.

The initiative is called The Ben Franklin Circles — a quick background… so Ben Franklin was one of the Founding Fathers of the United States of America. As well as being an influential politician of his time, he was many other things including a scientist and an inventor. He was deputy postmaster-general for the British colonies in 1753 and he did own and deal in slaves but by the late 1750s, he began arguing against slavery and became an abolitionist.

Ben was all for self-betterment and ran conversation clubs to discuss his own defined list of 13 virtues… temperance, silence, order, resolution, frugality, industry, sincerity, justice, moderation, cleanliness, tranquility, chastity, and humility — all with the purpose of asking two questions: How can we improve ourselves? How can we improve our world?

Taking that concept, Julie led an initiative to bring those conversation clubs back into practice and I wanted to learn more about them as well as her own conversation journey.

Catch the latest episodes of COACH/LEAD™ with Sehaam Cyrene on Apple | Audible | Podbean | Spotify | YouTube …and other fine places.

YouTube ▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@sehaamcyrene
LinkedIn ▶️ https://www.linkedin.com/in/sehaam/
Courses ▶️ https://coachlead.co/

Amazon # 1 Best Seller — The Better Conversations Rulebook: Questions & Phrases Practised Daily by Leaders Who Coach™  ▶️ https://amzn.eu/d/bm0J1BQ

E013 Gabrielle Hase on being insatiably curious about others

My guest is Gabrielle Hase. She is the CEO of Soleberry Advisory - love that name - based in London, and her depth of experience in all things ecommerce, mobile and direct marketing as well as strategic branding and how to increase a brand’s market share is what her clients hire her for. Gabrielle also serves on a number of well-known retail boards as a Non Executive Director (NED).

“The conversations that I enjoy are… truly back and forth conversations. You enjoy talking with them, even if you don’t agree with them, you find the conversation engaging, enlightening, and it has a nice decadence to it and you don’t regret the time spent.”

She has an insatiable curiosity about people and their motivations and choices, and she is often the one to ask the tough questions or the seemingly “stupid, silly” questions that actually… (ha) no-one knows the answer to — these are qualities you want in an advisor and a non-executive director, right? Otherwise why hire them?

You can follow Gabrielle Hase on LinkedIn.

Catch the latest episodes of COACH/LEAD™ with Sehaam Cyrene on Apple | Audible | Podbean | Spotify | YouTube …and other fine places.

YouTube ▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@sehaamcyrene
LinkedIn ▶️ https://www.linkedin.com/in/sehaam/
Courses ▶️ https://coachlead.co/

Amazon # 1 Best Seller — The Better Conversations Rulebook: Questions & Phrases Practised Daily by Leaders Who Coach™  ▶️ https://amzn.eu/d/bm0J1BQ

E012 Margaret Heffernan on fresh, raw and unpackaged conversations

One of the things I enjoy about my guest, and as she describes how she shows up in conversations, is how “fresh, raw and unpackaged” her thoughts and commentary are. 

My guest is Margaret Heffernan. Multi-time TED speaker, an award winning author, and former Chief Executive herself who now mentors other CEOs and senior executives of major global corporations, among other many other achievements. We can all agree that her latest book “Uncharted” is timely. 

I don’t know about you but I can hear Margaret’s distinctive voice in anything she’s written. She‘s the antidote to corporate jargon and theoretical leadership. She’s very much the mentor with whom leaders can feel both validated and safely challenged. In her words, perhaps she is giving them permission to pay attention to their own thoughts or hunches or observations rather than preaching must-do’s and should's. After all, isn’t that how we really grow? By listening? Whether that’s listening to others or listening to our own voice?

In this conversation, Margaret talks about the value of asking questions, the power that leaders have and the dilemmas that presents them with, the value of listening and holding spaces for others to speak honestly and how she has learned to do that and the surprise impact it had on her own ability to influence people, our relationship with conflict and disagreement and complexity, and what makes people loyal to their leaders. 

A theme that permeates all her books is social capital and how important it is in life and work — she’s explored it extensively and something tells me it has been the golden threat of many of her conversations. In her latest book, Margaret comments, “going into a crisis with years of generosity, reciprocity and trust already deeply embedded provides reliance and stamina.”

Follow Margaret Heffernan on LinkedIn.

Catch the latest episodes of COACH/LEAD™ with Sehaam Cyrene on Apple | Audible | Podbean | Spotify | YouTube …and other fine places.

YouTube ▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@sehaamcyrene
LinkedIn ▶️ https://www.linkedin.com/in/sehaam/
Courses ▶️ https://coachlead.co/

Amazon # 1 Best Seller — The Better Conversations Rulebook: Questions & Phrases Practised Daily by Leaders Who Coach™  ▶️ https://amzn.eu/d/bm0J1BQ

E011 Hazbi on intimacy, being queer and organising festivals

One of the toughest times to have conversations is when we are facing our fears and, if we can get to the other side, I’m optimistic that there is much joy waiting for us.

I’m in conversation with Hazbi, a Swiss-Albanian queer artist and curator of festivals. This is a very personal conversation because they are sharing their own journey of becoming non-binary and the important role that conversations have had for them since they were a teenager, not just about sexuality but about identity and belonging, about the queer festivals they organise, the challenge (or gift) of being mildly autistic, and about finding humanity and spiritual connections, ...and, it seems, to always be emerging themselves and to be promoting inclusion, diversity and rights for social minorities at the same time as challenging social conventions.

When Hazbi talks about being body positive they talk about creativity with the body, diversity of looks, the spaces that create safety and allow others to immediately open up and talk about very intimate aspects of their sexuality. Being non-binary, they are very flexible in how they dress, they are flamboyant and rich in imagery, and sometimes it has taken them a great deal of courage and strong will to dress how they feel because often people do stare at them, or can be aggressive or violent towards them because they represent difference or because their difference is perceived as dangerous.

They said something very poignant to me about how much self-alienation we put ourselves through in order to be accepted and they describe the morning rush in Zurich of bankers heading to their offices as an example. But also how people can surprise us, like when they told their boss that a professorship at the University of St Gallen wasn’t for them.

Connect with Hazbi on LinkedIn.

Catch the latest episodes of COACH/LEAD™ with Sehaam Cyrene on Apple | Audible | Podbean | Spotify | YouTube …and other fine places.

YouTube ▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@sehaamcyrene
LinkedIn ▶️ https://www.linkedin.com/in/sehaam/
Courses ▶️ https://coachlead.co/

Amazon # 1 Best Seller — The Better Conversations Rulebook: Questions & Phrases Practised Daily by Leaders Who Coach™  ▶️ https://amzn.eu/d/bm0J1BQ

E010 Rob Stephenson on smashing the mental health stigma

My guest today is Rob Stephenson, a mental health campaigner. He’s the creator of FormScore that helps you work out how well you’re feeling, and he’s about to pull off the first global 24 hour mental health virtual summit — by the time you listen to this episode he should be fully recovered!

Rob has his own story of mental ill-health which he shared with me and what’s remarkable is that he only recently came clean about what he spent so many years hiding from people he worked with. Once he accepted his condition and found a way to talk about it, he felt a burden lift -- he says being open about it is by no means a cure but it certainly relieved the burden of keeping it a secret.

He’s campaigning for change about attitudes and support for mental health — he wants to smash the stigma and he’s enlisting the help of senior leaders, some of whom he invites to be listed on LeaderBoard, an annual list of leaders who are open about their experience with mental ill-health.

So, I was curious about how his conversations sound, what they look and feel like. He describes himself as a strong man who has learned to be open and authentic and to talk about his vulnerability in a way that is disarming and gives others permission to share their struggles too.

One of my questions was what he would say to leaders who would like to demonstrate the same vulnerability that he has found but are apprehensive about how that might change other people’s perception of them and another question was how well equipped he believes our teenagers may be in expressing their emotions ...but I began first by asking Rob who he needs to influence on the mental health agenda.

Connect with Rob Stephenson on LinkedIn.

Catch the latest episodes of COACH/LEAD™ with Sehaam Cyrene on Apple | Audible | Podbean | Spotify | YouTube …and other fine places.

YouTube ▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@sehaamcyrene
LinkedIn ▶️ https://www.linkedin.com/in/sehaam/
Courses ▶️ https://coachlead.co/

Amazon # 1 Best Seller — The Better Conversations Rulebook: Questions & Phrases Practised Daily by Leaders Who Coach™  ▶️ https://amzn.eu/d/bm0J1BQ

E009 Shalini Gupta on striving for simplicity in conversations

My guest is Shalini Gupta, a Canadian living and working in Chicago where I had the pleasure of meeting and getting to know her when I lived in Chicago. She’s been working in advertising, agency side, for the last 18 plus years and when we spoke, she was managing an agency doing the marketing for the US army.

She shares how one of her early bosses has influenced how she leads today, how she makes space for people to express their feelings, to speak simply and be present, and to focus on outcomes rather than ego or sounding smart.

Patience under pressure may be an aspect she’s working on — who isn’t — but in the meantime there are things like empathy, acknowledgement, and honesty that are very important to Shalini. Her focus is on making sure her people understand what’s being discussed and know what to do with that information.

She thinks before she speaks, so her words are intentional and succinct. You understand her very quickly. And there are at least a couple of wonderful tips to learn from Shalini’s approach to team meetings including how to align before the meetings and how you can know when everyone is ready to move forward.

Connect with Shalini Gupta on LinkedIn.

Catch the latest episodes of COACH/LEAD™ with Sehaam Cyrene on Apple | Audible | Podbean | Spotify | YouTube …and other fine places.

YouTube ▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@sehaamcyrene
LinkedIn ▶️ https://www.linkedin.com/in/sehaam/
Courses ▶️ https://coachlead.co/

Amazon # 1 Best Seller — The Better Conversations Rulebook: Questions & Phrases Practised Daily by Leaders Who Coach™  ▶️ https://amzn.eu/d/bm0J1BQ

E008 Devin Singh on ethics of care in conversations

Are you aware of how much you try to control how others perceive you? And what about your responsibility in conversations... to keep channels open, to care about the feelings that we create in others when we talk or when we listen?

As well as encouraging us to find a way to relinquish control over how others perceive us, my guest, Devin Singh, raises with us the notion of ethics of care in our conversations. It’s a position that, with age, I’ve come to value more – that we are or ought to have concern for how others receive what we say and share in conversation exchanges way more than how others perceive us. For Devin, it’s about being kind, attentive and present in our relationships.

Devin researches and teaches on the connection between religion, culture, economics and business. He’s an Associate Professor of Religion at Dartmouth College, New Hampshire, USA as well as being an author, speaker, leadership coach and strategist.

Perhaps his point of view has been strongly shaped by his childhood living overseas with his diplomat mother and the professional path he has chosen for himself, and perhaps in part it has been pre-determined by his own DNA. And like many of us, there are things that challenge us in conversations and determine how we show up in conversations – the masks we wear in different places and with different people, our triggers, and our attempts to control how others perceive us while wanting to deeply belong to groups and people that attract us.

Connect with Devin Singh on LinkedIn. 

Catch the latest episodes of COACH/LEAD™ with Sehaam Cyrene on Apple | Audible | Podbean | Spotify | YouTube …and other fine places.

YouTube ▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@sehaamcyrene
LinkedIn ▶️ https://www.linkedin.com/in/sehaam/
Courses ▶️ https://coachlead.co/

Amazon # 1 Best Seller — The Better Conversations Rulebook: Questions & Phrases Practised Daily by Leaders Who Coach™  ▶️ https://amzn.eu/d/bm0J1BQ

E007 Mark Walmsley on conversations as currency of commerce

Just how creative are you in setting up conversations with clients? Have you pulled any stunts or wowed them in a way that gave them no option but to hire you?

Conversations can play out in predictable ways - especially in client or sales pitches. You do the meet and greet, introductions, thank yous, and you probably dive straight into how great your thingamajig is. But do you ever really manage to stop your prospect in their tracks with a thought-provoking idea or a new way to view their problem or business challenge? Do you surprise and delight them?

My guest, Mark Walmsley does and has - many times over. He thrives on talking to people and so networking is a comfort zone for him. And not just talking to people but having interesting conversations. You get the sense that Mark is looking at your problem or situation with a different lens - one you sometimes wish you had. He has energy but he’s calm. He’s playful in an easy and humble way rather than a showy limelight way. And he holds up a mirror for you without making you feel judged. 

Once you listen to this episode, you’ll get why people say they feel more creative when Mark’s around. He has loads of stories to share and he switches between work stories and family stories because for Mark, it’s all about relationships.

Connect with Mark Walmsley on LinkedIn.

Catch the latest episodes of COACH/LEAD™ with Sehaam Cyrene on Apple | Audible | Podbean | Spotify | YouTube …and other fine places.

YouTube ▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@sehaamcyrene
LinkedIn ▶️ https://www.linkedin.com/in/sehaam/
Courses ▶️ https://coachlead.co/
Book ▶️ https://amzn.eu/d/bm0J1BQ